Abuse
Prevention Emphasis Day 2006
Resource
Packet
Making
the Church a
written
by
Bernie and
Family and Children’s
Ministries Directors
South England Conference
of Seventh-day Adventists
Trans-European Division
Prepared by the
General Conference
Abuse Prevention
Emphasis Day Committee
Adventist Chaplaincy Ministries
Children’s Ministries
Education Department
Family Ministries
Health Ministries
Ministerial Association
Women’s Ministries
Youth Ministries
January 12,
2006
Let me begin
by thanking you for the part you will play in ensuring that this year’s Abuse
Prevention Emphasis Day is successful and a blessing to all the members in your
church.
Our theme for this
year is “Making the Church a
In this packet
you will find -
- A Suggested Order of Service
- Dramatic Scripture
- Sermon
- Children’s Story and Handout
- Two Adult Handouts
- Seminar
Feel free to
adapt the material to fit your local preferences. We ask that you include other
departments in your church to promote and present this program. At the General
Conference nine departments work together to prepare this material (as listed
on the cover of this program) and we are all committed to helping the vulnerable,
unprotected and those in pain—whether emotional or physical—in our church and
the wider community.
Our prayers
are with you and we know that God will bless you and your congregations as you
worship on this day.
Love and joy,
Heather-Dawn
Small
Director
A Suggested Order of
Service
Prelude
Call to Worship: Seventh-day Adventist Hymnal 855
Invocation
Hymn of Praise: O Worship the King SDAH 83
Scripture
Offering
Prayer for the offering and the pastoral prayer
Children’s Story: ‘Taking Care of Little People’ or
‘Egg Babies’
Special Music
Sermon: ‘The Power to Protect’
Hymn of Response:
Take my Life and Let it Be SDAH 330
Benediction
‘Sharing the Peace’ Blessing
(In a ‘Sharing the Peace’ Blessing members of the
congregation move around shaking each other’s hands saying ‘May the peace of
God be with you, and protect you’.)
Postlude
.
Scripture
People required - Narrator, Voice of God from off
stage, using a microphone, a group of at least three people to mime actions in
chorus together
|
Narrator |
This is what the Lord Almighty says, Mime – all turn their
heads and lean towards the direction of the voice of God, cupping a hand
behind their ear. |
|
Voice of God |
‘ |
|
Narrator |
But they refused to pay attention; Mime – all turn their
shaking heads away from God and then looking all over the place. |
|
|
stubbornly they turned their backs and stopped
their ears. Mime – all turning their
backs away from God and putting their fingers in their ears. |
|
|
They made their hearts as hard as flint Mime
– bring both tight fists to knock together over the heart, (the fists need to
form a kind of heart-shape as you do this to illustrate the hardness of heart
concept)) |
|
|
and would not listen to the law or to the words
that the Lord Almighty had sent by his Spirit through the earlier prophets. Mime – put hands over ears
and shake heads then pretend to fight and steal from each other. |
|
|
So the Lord Almighty was very angry. Mime – cower together in
fear and tremble. |
|
Voice of God |
‘When I called they did not listen; so when they
called, I would not listen, I scattered them with a whirlwind among the
nations, where they were strangers. Mime – act as if a
whirlwind comes and scatters all the mime artists around the stage. The land was left so desolate behind them that
no-one could come or go. This is how they made the pleasant land desolate.’ Mime – lie on stage as if
dead. |
|
Narrator |
Today, may we listen to the Word of God Mime – stand up again alertly
and listen carefully. and be inspired to act justly, Mime – shake hands with
each other as if in agreement. Mercifully, Mime – one person gives
gifts to others who look sad and poor. and compassionately with each other, Mime – all place both
hands over hearts, crossing them slightly to make a heart shape, and then,
keeping the hands in the heart shape – offer the ‘hand-hearts’ to each other,
with compassionate and caring movements and facial expressions. and so restore the pleasant land in which we desire
to live. Mime – looking around in
wonder, being happy, and praising God. In His Name, Amen. |
Sermon
The Power to Protect
This sermon has been written so that it can be
presented by one person, two people alternating parts, and taking the different
characters in the three Bible story illustrations, or by seven people – the main
preacher, and the characters of Boaz, Ruth, David, Mephibosheth, Joseph and
Mary as they arise in the sermon. Use the amount of people and format that best
suits your context and the team you have available to work with you.
Introduction
Recently there was a television program that invited
people to create robotic style machines for different purposes. Some robots
were designed to climb ropes as fast as possible. Some robots had to jump as
high as they could. Some had to move as fast as possible in a straight line or
lift a weight. But some of the most challenging to design were the robotic rockets
that had to shoot as high as possible and then land safely again. The task
sounded fairly easy, but there was an added challenge: each rocket had to
transport an egg in such a way that the egg would not be broken, or even
cracked, during the flight and landing.
All kinds of techniques were used to try and protect
the egg from the force of the initial propelling explosion to the impact of the
final landing. One egg was suspended in heavy oil. Others were wrapped in
layers of wadding, or supported by polystyrene that had been shaped to fit the
egg. Other rocketeers added parachutes to slow down the descent of the rocket
and so protect the egg from the full impact of a landing. Some methods worked
and others didn’t. Those that kept the egg intact had taken into consideration
all the possible dangers and provided protection for every stage of the egg’s
journey. The more types of protection used by the rocketeer, the more likely
the egg was to survive the experience intact.
Eggs are fragile and vulnerable. Many of us have
accidentally broken an egg and made a horrible mess.
People are fragile and vulnerable too:
·
They
can be physically vulnerable when they are babies, children, sick, disabled, or
elderly.
·
They
can be emotionally fragile if they have been bereaved, or are suffering
hardships, depression, disappointments and disease.
·
They
can be spiritually fragile if they are new believers, are young in faith faith,
or their life experiences are making it difficult for them to experience God’s
grace.
·
They
can also be socially and materially vulnerable if they are poor, lone parents,
refugees, immigrants, students, unemployed, or find it difficult to work for a
living wage that will support themselves and their families if they have them. Some people may find themselves forced to become sex
workers in order to feed their families.
There are probably many ways in which people can be
fragile or vulnerable at some time in their lives and we need to be aware of
the needs around us so we can identify those who need extra protection and
support.
God calls the stronger to support the weaker, the
richer to support the poorer. He puts us together in the community of church so
that we can bless each other as we give and receive from each other. God calls
us to be a church community where every fragile person finds support and
protection
Religion
that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this, to look after
orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted
by the world.
James
The different words translated in our Bibles as being
‘oppressed’ have a range of meanings, such as being bruised, put down, broken,
spoiled, destroyed, distressed, terrified, crushed, or worn down.
Boaz (The Book of Ruth)
When
you are harvesting in your field, and you overlook a sheaf, do not go back to
get it. Leave it for the alien, the fatherless and the widow, so that the Lord
your God may bless you in all the work of your hands….Remember that you were
slaves in
He
who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to
the needy honours God.
Proverbs
14:3, NIV.
As soon as I saw her I knew she was vulnerable. I had
heard my servant girls talk about meeting her at the village well. Ruth was a
widow, with no son to provide for her, and she was caring for her mother in
law, Naomi, who was also a widow with no son to care for her. They were both
without support and without protection. The two women had no income, and they
had returned to Naomi’s village because it was the only place in the world
where there was the possibility of a home and the chance that some distant
relations would take pity on them.
But Ruth was also at risk because she was young and
beautiful, a foreigner who could not command respect as a Jewish national. She
was from a country that the Jews despised; a country who sacrificed their
children to their ever-hungry gods.
Ruth and Naomi were hungry. They had returned to the
village at harvest time and had no vegetables growing in their own gardens, no fields
planted with golden grain. Ruth had to go out into the fields and gather up the
loose grain stalks from the sun baked earth. She would be in the fields all day
long with my young servant men. And I knew what they were like—strong and
virile—and I knew that a beautiful, lonely, foreign woman, who had to glean
from morning till night, could be at risk from their games, their temptations
and their lust.
Ruth had many needs. She had shelter, and water from
the village well, but she needed more than that. She needed to be free to
gather food and make a living for herself and Naomi, so I ordered the men to
leave a little extra grain where it would be easy for her to collect.
·
I
told her to gather grain only in my fields, where I was the master.
·
I let
my servants know that she was special and that no harm should come to her and
that they should share their food and water with her.
·
I
told her to glean with my female reapers, so that she would be safe, and have
companionship.
And why did I do all this for a foreign young woman?
Because I believe that my nation should be a shining example of God’s love for
all the people who come to her for refuge from their own people and nations. I
want to live out my faith in God, and His love for me, by creating a safe place
for refugees, vulnerable women, and those who are poor and hungry.
I remember hearing my own mother, Rahab (Matthew
1:5), tell me the stories of how kind the Israelite community had been to her
and how her gift of hospitality and generosity led to the protection and rescue
of her whole family from the destruction of Jericho. She was a foreigner, but
the Israelites took her in and gave her a home, a brand new life, and her
self-respect. One way I can pass on the blessing given to my own mother, is to
care for other vulnerable women in my community.
Is
not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every
yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor
wanderer with shelter – when you see the naked, to clothe him and not to turn
away from your own flesh and blood?
Isaiah
58:6-7, NIV.
Ruth
I could not believe the kindness of Boaz. I came to
Love
always protects. 1 Corinthians 13:8, NIV.
David (2 Samuel 9)
It was a long time after Jonathan died before I
remembered my promise to take care of his family. I made some enquiries and
found his son, Mephibosheth. A childhood accident had left him permanently
disabled and life had become hard for him. He didn’t feel very good about
himself, describing himself as a “dead dog”. But I had loved his father and had
the same compassion for Mephibosheth, his son. I felt bad that I had not been
aware of the extent of his struggle, and that he had suffered for so many years
when I could have been helping and supporting him. As soon as I could, I moved
him into my palace where I could take care of him, protect him, and help him to
lead a fulfilling life. I gave him back all the riches and land that his family
owned and gave him servants to farm the land on his behalf.
This
is what the Lord Almighty says, ‘
Zechariah
7:9,10, NIV.
We
who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please
ourselves.
Romans
15:, NIV.
Mephibosheth
It was a complete surprise to me when King David
summoned me to his palace. I must admit that I wondered whether it would be
safe to see him, or whether he wanted to have me killed in case I was somehow a
threat to his throne. I never expected what happened! It was a complete
surprise to me when he invited me and my family to live in his palace, and when
he gave back not only my father’s land, but also a manager and a workforce to
farm it for me. Now I didn’t have to worry any more about how to provide for my
wife and young son, or what kind of inheritance he would have. We had shelter,
food, an income, and servants to take care of our needs and to run my errands.
A
bruised reed he will not break and a smouldering wick he will not snuff out. In
faithfulness he will bring forth justice.
Isaiah
42:3, NIV.
And
we urge you, brothers…encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.
1
Thessalonians 5:14, NIV.
Joseph
We were living quite comfortably in
I woke Mary. We packed just the things we needed and
fled through the night, down toward
He
looked for justice, but saw only bloodshed; for righteousness, but heard cries
of distress.
Isaiah
5:7, NIV.
Mary
It was hard to leave everything that had just become
home and a place where we had just begun to be accepted. But how could we stay
in a place where our child would be put at risk, where people in places of
responsibility were corrupt and had such a disregard for the preciousness of
the life of a child? Later we heard of the full horror of Herod’s plan. Only a
man with a heart of stone could conceive of such a nightmare. Our little
children weren’t precious to him. He had no compassion on their innocence, no
care for their safety or well-being. In the face of such cruelty we had to do
whatever we could to protect our son.
At
about the same time, the disciples came to Jesus asking, "Who gets the
highest rank in God's kingdom?" For an answer Jesus called over a child,
whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once
and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children,
you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever
becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's
kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the
same as receiving me.
"But if you give them a hard time,
bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you'll soon wish you
hadn't. You'd be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a millstone
around your neck.”
Matthew
18:1-6, Message.
Jesus’ Example
·
Jesus
came to show us how to respond to others in need.
·
He
cared for those in His community who were oppressed.
·
He
gave self-respect, forgiveness and hope to a woman caught in adultery.
·
He
defended Mary, as she washed His feet with perfume and tears, when Judas began
to verbally abuse her and put her down.
·
He
dealt respectfully and gently with Samaritans and strangers. He touched the
people others considered to be ‘unclean’.
·
He
invited the children onto His lap and blessed them, when His disciples thought
they were too little to be valuable. He defended the children vigorously,
saying that if anyone should lead a child astray, it would be better for them
to be dropped in a lake with a millstone around their neck. Strong words
indeed.
·
He
relieved hunger amongst the crowds that came to listen to Him on the hills, and
rescued fishermen on lakes.
Everywhere He went His focus was to relieve suffering
and oppression and set people free, rather than imprison them with fear and
misery. (Luke 4:18,19.)
He did this because over and over again the gospels
tell us that He was moved with compassion for the people. (Matthew
Compassion comes when we step into God’s shoes for a
while and look at the people around us through His eyes. His eyes are the
loving eyes of a perfect Father, who is also perfect Love. When we stand in His
place and look through His eyes, what will our response be?
Today, there are many people around us who are
fragile or vulnerable, for all kinds of reasons. They are babies, children,
young men and women, old men and women, people with disabilities, people with
learning difficulties, refugees, people who have come to our country from other
parts of the world, people who are poor or homeless. These people may be
finding it hard to cope with life, they may be experiencing mental illness or
distress, or they may be people who have been, and are still being, sexually,
verbally, physically and spiritually abused. How would Jesus respond to them if
He were walking through our country, our towns, our churches and our homes today?
What would His compassionate heart move Him to do?
God calls us to wake up, to open our eyes to the
suffering of others and be part of movement to protect those in our circle of
care.
This
is what the Lord Almighty says, ‘
Zechariah
7:9,10, NIV.
God calls us to remember that we are part of one body
– His body – and we are to take care of every part of this body, because when
one part hurts, every part suffers.
There
are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need
you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’ On the contrary,
those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts
we think are less honourable we treat with special honour. And the parts that
are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts
need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has
given greater honour to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no
division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each
other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is
honoured, every part rejoices with it.
1
Corinthians 12:20-26, NIV.
God calls us to bring to Him our indifferent,
uncaring, unhearing hearts of stone, and to exchange them for a heart of flesh,
filled with His vibrant and pulsating love for all mankind.
‘I
will remove from them their heart of stone and give them a heart of flesh.’
Ezekiel
11:19, NIV.
God calls us to offer compassion, support, help and
protection. He calls us to be His comforting arms of love in a hurting world,
His body to shield them from danger, His listening ears that are open to hear
their stories of suffering, and to respond with caring actions and words, His
voice that calls out for justice and mercy, and pleads for the little ones, the
vulnerable ones, and the unprotected ones.
So what can we do as Christians, as church members,
as living parts of the Body of Christ, as people with hearts of flesh? How can
we offer them multiple kinds of protection, just as the best egg-rocketeers
provided protection for every stage of the egg’s journey.
We can work to:
·
Recognise
our God-given responsibility to care for those around us who are vulnerable.
·
Create
a community where it is safe to talk about our struggles and our needs,
especially our needs for protection and care.
·
Give
the message that when people talk about their vulnerabilities, needs, or hopes
for protection that they will be taken seriously and action will be taken, and,
if children report their fears, or any abuse, they will be believed and taken seriously
too.
·
Remember
that every church is likely to have people who have been abused in the past, as
well as those who may be being abused right now.
·
Enable
each person to have a voice in the community, however small they are.
·
Listen
to each other and respond to each other from the loving and compassionate heart
of God.
·
Be
willing to take appropriate action and to do something positive, practical and
protective when necessary.
·
Be
proactive and create a church community where people have good reasons to feel
safe, by creating a building that doesn’t have spaces in which children might
be abused. For example there needs to be windows in every door, closet spaces that are kept locked
by responsible people, and careful stewarding of spaces during church activities.
·
Offer
training to all members in child protection issues, advertise confidential
caring services especially for children and vulnerable adults, and help people
to know where to find good Christian counsellors if they need them.
·
Challenge
the practices in our communities that disadvantage people or increase their
vulnerability.
·
Recommend
places where people can go for assistance or help if they need it.
And why do we need to do these things?
·
So we
can follow Jesus’ example.
·
So we
can be part of God’s plan for His community, and for His church.
·
Because of our personal relationship with God we become His touch to
those who need His love and care.
·
Because
this is a wise and loving way to live.
·
Because
whatever you do to one of these vulnerable ones you are doing to God.
·
Because
if we are not part of the protective process, we are part of the oppressive
problem.
Andy’s dilemma
Andy was driving down a quiet country lane one
afternoon when he noticed a car that had crashed into a tree. He stopped his
car and ran over to the accident. The car had swerved to miss a deer that had
run across the road. In the car Andy found a mother, who had been driving the
car, trapped in her seat by the steering column. He called the emergency
services, and then tried to see if he could help her. She was not badly injured
and she was conscious, but she was unable to move. Andy tried to open her door
and to see if he could release her, but it was soon obvious that this was the
job for the emergency release team, who would probably not arrive for another
twenty minutes as they were a long way from the nearest small town.
In the back of the car sat a girl, about four, safe
in her car seat, but crying and miserable. Her mother had been reassuring her,
but they had already been trapped in the car for almost an hour and the little
girl was getting distressed and very thirsty. There was a bag with a drink in
it strapped into the seat next to her, but she could not reach it, and her
mother couldn’t help her.
Andy wondered what to do. He couldn’t help the
mother, but he could help the little girl. He realized that he needed to
reassure the mother and the daughter so that he wouldn’t add to their suffering
and stress. He realized that he had the power to protect them both. He asked
the mother if it would be alright for him to release the little girl from her
car seat and to give her a drink. He promised to stay close to the mother and
in her sight at all times. He gave the mother proof of his identity and wrote
out his license plate number for her.
The mother agreed. She was glad that someone could
help her take care of her little girl. Andy carefully released her and lifted
her out of the car. He held her carefully, and stood as close to the mother as
he could, so they could see each other. The mother smiled and the little girl
squirmed in Andy’s strange arms. She wanted to go to her mother, but she
couldn’t. She whimpered and struggled a little, then relaxed into Andy’s arms.
He reached back into the car to find her juice, and a snack, and a familiar
toy. Then he sat there, chatting to the mother and the little girl, reassuring
them both, until the emergency services arrived, and a police woman was able to
look after the little girl.
It was an unusual situation. Andy knew about the
concerns a mother would have about a strange man cuddling a little girl, about
the fear she might have had that he might abduct her child. But he had
compassion in his heart – a ‘feeling with’ both the mother and the child, a
desire to meet each of their needs and concerns. He tried to be as transparent
as he could be, as reassuring as he could be, as careful as he could be. In the
situation, with the mother unable to move and protect her own child, he had
chosen to do what was best for them both.
If you were Andy what would you have done?
If you were the Mother, what would you have wanted
someone to do for your child?
If you were the child, what would you have wanted
someone to do for you?
Ultimately we have to stand before God and answer for
our actions. Ultimately everything we do to or for a child or a vulnerable
person, we have done to or for God Himself. Ultimately we have the power to
bring peace and protection, defend the vulnerable and to work with God to chase
away every terror from the earth.
The Lord is King for ever
and ever…. You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them,
and you listen to their cry, defending the fatherless and the oppressed, in
order that man, who is of the earth, may terrify no more.
Psalm
Children’s Story
Children’s story ideas
Taking Care of Little People
Have a parent bring a small baby or baby doll to the
front of the church.
Introduce the baby to the children and tell them the
baby’s name.
Ask the children what they think you need to do to take
good care of a baby.
The baby needs:
·
Food
and drink from its mommy or a bottle (show them a bottle of milk)
·
Clean,
dry diapers (nappies) (show the children the things needed for changing a baby)
·
To be
held carefully (show them how to hold the baby)
·
Warm
clothes (show the children some baby clothes)
·
Cuddles
and love (give the baby a hug)
·
Toys
to play with so that they have some fun (show them some baby toys)
·
Gentle
touch so it is not frightened or hurt (show the children how to touch the baby
gently)
·
People
to come and check when it cries
·
A
safe bed to sleep in (show a travel cot if you have one)
Babies need lots of things to take care of them.
What do you need others do to help take care of you
and to help you to feel safe?
When we take care of others we are showing them God’s
love.
Egg babies
Give older children a raw egg to take care of for a
week. They have to take it with them everywhere they go and bring it back to
church the following Sabbath, safe and uncracked.
Invite them to write a journal each day about their
adventures, or misadventures with the egg.
Offer a small prize for everyone who manages to bring
their egg back intact the following Sabbath, after carrying it around with them
all week.
Interview the children about what they learned from
the experience of protecting their egg as a children’s story feature, or as a
special feature in the service.
Children’s Handout
My name
is __________________________
God
made me special and He wants me to be safe.
Here is
a picture of me.
Draw a red heart on the
places where you like to be touched and a black x on the places where you
don’t like being touched. If you didn’t feel safe
with someone Who would you run to? And what would you tell
them? Draw a line to the parts
of your body that can protect you from danger. What do these parts help
you to do?
Adult Handout 1
Living God’s Protective Love Towards Children
(and Others Who May Be Vulnerable)
(Adapted
from 1 Corinthians 13 by
Love is
patient
Loving people remember that they
were young once and that children develop at different rates. They let children
grow and learn at their own pace. They protect children from being pushed too
soon into a violent and sexualized adult world and they protect their
innocence. (Matthew 18:5-7)
Love is
kind
Loving people handle children
gently. They take care of their physical needs for food, drink, exercise,
warmth, shelter, and safety. They take care of their emotional needs for
encouragement, appreciation, support, comfort, acceptance, affection and
respect. They take care of their spiritual needs by showing them a true picture
of a loving, gracious and forgiving God. Loving people speak and act kindly
towards children. (Philippians 4:5)
Love is
humble
Loving people honor children above
themselves (Romans
Love is
polite
Loving people respect children and
do not speak down to them or put them down. They only speak words that build
the child up, not what tears the child down. (Ephesians 4:29)
Love is
generous and unselfish
Loving people do not use children
for their own physical, sexual or emotional advantage. They do what is best for
the child, and are willing to make sacrifices for the child’s benefit. (John
15:13)
Love
delights in the truth
Loving people treat children in ways
that they would be happy for other people to know about. They don’t have
shameful secrets, or need to lie about the way they have treated children.
(Ephesians 5:8-13)
Love always
protects
Loving people do nothing that will
cause harm to a child’s body or emotional well being. They do not use physical
punishment or violence, harsh and loud words, treat them cruelly or manipulate
them. (1 John 4:18)
Love always
trusts
Loving people believe what children
tell them, even when the experiences the child reports seem shocking. They
accept what the child has said and seek to help the child find protection and
safety, even from their family members or fellow church members. (Psalm 10:16-18)
Love never
fails
Loving people never let children
down by betraying their trust, or failing to protect them from emotional,
spiritual, sexual or physical harm. Through their constant, unselfish love,
children come to know their Father God who will never fail them.
(1
Adult Handout 2
WAYS WE CAN HELP THE
VULNERABLE AND UNPROTECTED
We can work to:
·
Recognize
our God-given responsibility to care for those around us who are vulnerable.
·
Create
a community where it is safe to talk about our struggles and our needs,
especially our needs for protection and care.
·
Give
the message that when people talk about their vulnerabilities, needs, or hopes
for protection that they will be taken seriously and action will be taken, and,
if children report their fears, or any abuse, they will be believed and taken
seriously too.
·
Remember
that every church is likely to have people who have been abused in the past, as
well as those who may be being abused right now.
·
Enable
each person to have a voice in the community, however small they are.
·
Listen
to each other and respond to each other from the loving and compassionate heart
of God.
·
Be
willing to take appropriate action and to do something positive, practical and
protective when necessary.
·
Be
proactive and create a church community where people have good reasons to feel
safe, by creating a building that doesn’t have spaces in which children might
be abused. For example there needs to be windows in every door, closet spaces that are kept locked
by responsible people, and careful stewarding of spaces during church
activities.
·
Offer
training to all members in child protection issues, advertise confidential
caring services especially for children and vulnerable adults, and help people
to know where to find good Christian counsellors if they need them.
·
Challenge
the practices in our communities that disadvantage people or increase their
vulnerability.
·
Recommend
places where people can go for assistance or help if they need it.
And why do we need to do these things?
·
So we
can follow Jesus’ example.
·
So we
can be part of God’s plan for His community, and for His church.
·
Because of our personal relationship with God we become His touch to
those who need His love and care.
·
Because
this is a wise and loving way to live.
·
Because
whatever you do to one of these vulnerable ones you are doing to God.
·
Because
if we are not part of the protective process, we are part of the oppressive
problem.
SEMINAR
KEEPING CHILDREN SAFE: A SEMINAR
FOR CHURCH MEMBERS
By Bernie and
Directors, Family
and Children’s Ministries, South England Conference
Note to Seminar Organizers
In preparation for presenting this
seminar, the following considerations are very important to keep in mind:
▪ It is important to have the support
of your pastor and church board for conducting this seminar.
▪ The presenter of this
seminar does not need to have a professional background in child
protection. They do need to be committed
to protecting children from abuse. They should
also have the presentation skills necessary to lead a seminar and to use the
following information and suggested activities to prepare a program that is
relevant in the local context.
▪ If any church members in
your area have special training in child protection, you may wish to invite
them to coordinate and present this seminar with you. They can provide depth of
understanding and expertise out of their training and experience. They can also be helpful resource persons for
participants regarding local policies, procedures, support personnel, etc.
▪ This seminar provides only
an introduction to the issues involved in child protection. You will need to make the necessary
adaptations to tailor its content to the awareness level of the members on the
issue.
▪ This seminar is intended for
an adult audience. It is not appropriate to have children present at the
seminar. Ensure that child care is provided.
▪ You will need to be
sensitive to the reality that someone attending the seminar may have be very
close to a child who has been abused or may have been abused themselves. It is important to acknowledge at the
beginning of the seminar that this is a difficult topic. It can be especially distressing for those
who have been close to child abuse in real life, perhaps with a neighbor or a
friend. Affirm that for some caring
people even talking about this subject may be very hard. If possible, it would be good to have a
counselor or the pastor present at the seminar who could talk privately with
someone who find its content personally disturbing.
▪ It is important to be
informed about local laws on child protection and the policies and statutory
bodies that support and enforce them. Each local area will have its own
procedures regarding the appropriate response to issues of child protection.
Your union, conference, mission or local church may already have a child
protection policy. If so, make copies
available to the participants and refer to it where ever practicable in this
seminar. If a local policy is not available, you may wish to give each attendee
the Child Protection Guidelines for Church Leaders and Volunteers included in
Appendix A. If you have access to the Internet, you may want to use the links
listed at the end of this document to find policies that have been created by
Seventh-day Adventists in other parts of the world. (See Appendix G for helpful websites and
Appendix H for statements released from the General Conference of Seventh-day
Adventists.)
▪ It will be very helpful to
share with seminar participants any statistics gathered in your country on the
prevalence of child abuse.
▪ You may wish to work with
your union or conference to secure further training for church leadership in
this important area.
Purpose of the Seminar
▪ To make local church members
aware of the importance of protecting children.
▪ To help the local church
members know how to create an environment that protects children.
Seminar Outline
A. Introduction
B.
Child Protection – A Biblical Mandate
C.
Creating Awareness of Child Protection Issues
▪ Introducing
categories of child abuse
▪
Creating awareness of the reality of child abuse, its nature and effects, and
the church’s responsibility for the protection of children
D.
Implementing Child Protective Policies in the
▪ Creating awareness
of common warning signs of abuse
▪ Empowering
children to talk to a trusted adult about abuse
▪ Making a report
to appropriate authorities
E.
Conclusion: Moving into Action
F.
Appendices
▪
Appendix A: Child Protection Guidelines
for Church Leaders and Volunteers
▪
Appendix B: Definitions
▪
Appendix C: Child Abuse Indicators
▪
Appendix D: Helping Children to Protect
Themselves
▪
Appendix E: Being a Safe and Protective
Adult
▪ Appendix F: Helpful Websites
▪
Appendix G: Relevant Position Statements
Issued by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
▪
Appendix H: Relevant Position Statements
Issues by the General Conference of SDA
Presentation Notes
The following notes are provided for
seminar leader(s) to use in developing the program for their particular
setting. Brief presentations are
enhanced by group activities and discussion.
Prayer
Open the program with a prayer that
hearts and minds will be opened to the Holy Spirit’s guidance as this vital,
but sensitive, topic is discussed and appropriate action to protect children in
your local church is considered.
A. Introduction
Thank the group in advance for their
willingness to participate in a discussion of a difficult issue, but one that
is very important and significant to the church. The protection of children is
a major responsibility given to the church because God makes His people
responsible for protecting the vulnerable.
Children are vulnerable because of their immaturity and inability to
protect themselves from harm. The
protection of children is also a major responsibility of the church because
when church is a safe and caring place, children will find it easier to believe
that God is a safe and caring God.
Introduce available local statistics
on the prevalence of child abuse in your country. Statistics show that child abuse takes place
in every nation and among all ethnic groups.
Child abuse affects both genders (though girls are more likely to be
victimized than boys) and all socio-economic levels. No group is exempt. For instance, a well publicized study in
[One way to impact the participants
with statistics regarding the prevalence of abuse is to number the participants
by having them count off from
Thought Starter: A
Child’s Experience. You may choose to read this yourself, or
to ask a woman in your church to read it.
If you ask want to ask a woman to read it, do so in advance so as to
give her opportunity to decline the task without embarrassment. This is important because reading such a
scenario could be very difficult for someone who is particularly caring or who
has been close to an abuse situation.
I don’t come to church anymore. My dad was the head elder and highly
respected by the church members. He was a successful businessman and gave
generously to the local church, paying for many of the furnishings. From the
time I was six he sexually abused me about once a week, usually when my mother
was at choir practice. When I was old enough to know that this was wrong, I
told my mother. She believed me and asked the pastor what she should do. The
pastor said that I had been making mischief and told her not to say anything to
anyone because it would give the church a bad name. My mother chose to protect
me rather than stay with my father, and we moved away. The church
disfellowshipped my mother for divorcing my father even though she did it to
protect me. My dad is still an elder in his church.
As we proceed through the seminar,
think about the messages you think this experience conveyed to this child about
her value as a person, about God who is described in Scripture as “our Father,”
and about His church. We will take time
to further consider this case later in the program.
B. Child Protection: A Biblical Mandate
Read
At about the same time,
the disciples came to Jesus asking, “Who gets the highest rank in God’s
kingdom?”
For an answer Jesus
called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, “I’m
telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start
over like children, you’re not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let
alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will
rank high in God’s kingdom. What’s more, when you receive the childlike on my
account, it’s the same as receiving me.
But if you give them a
hard time, bullying or taking advantage of their simple trust, you’ll soon wish
you hadn’t. You’d be better off dropped in the middle of the lake with a
millstone around your neck.”
These are strong words indeed. In
this passage Jesus clearly states the high value that He places on children and
their place in His kingdom. Jesus goes so far as to say that anyone whose
actions harm a child or impedes their faith would be better off dead.
Despite the reality that sin has
caused all of God’s children to stray from His design for them, God still
maintains that every person—including every child—is of inestimable worth. While it is true that children are called to
obey and honor their parents, parents are also instructed not to frustrate
their children and provoke their children to anger. Rather they are to bring their children up in
the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph 6:1-4). Jesus Himself instructed adults not to lead
children into sin. He even went so far
as to say that unless we humble ourselves as little children, we shall not
enter the kingdom of heaven (Matt. 18.3).
Thus the Bible is clear that
children are valuable members of the Lord’s family. This, however, does not negate the reality
that they are also vulnerable and therefore need our care and protection. We must take seriously the charge given in
Scripture to nurture children (Eph 6:1, 2), to protect them (Matt. 18:6) and to
allow them to come safely to Jesus (Mark 10:13-16). It is our responsibility as
Christians to fulfill these commands. In
our worship, in our fellowship and in our work to fill the church’s mission we
must ensure that:
- Children are listened to, kept safe
and nurtured as belonging to the family of God;
- Parents and caregivers are supported
and encouraged as they care for their children;
- Everyone who works with children and
young people is trustworthy and supported in their responsibilities.
We want children to grow up in safe
environments so they can be healthy and strong in every aspect of their
lives. Sadly, too many children
experience maltreatment which prevents them from growing and developing to their
fullest potential. Harm of this kind is
called “abuse.” As a consequence, such
children struggle to cope with their world and may behave in a variety of
dysfunctional ways that affect their well-being.
C. Creating Awareness of
Child Protection Issues
Group discussion introducing categories of child abuse.
The purpose of this exercise is to encourage people to think about
situations they may have heard about or witnessed that could be understood as
abusive, thus arriving at an understanding of what constitutes child abuse.
Ask participants to get into small
groups of 5-8 people and reflect on the following question: What local, national and international news
stories concerning child abuse have you read or heard? Make a list of the kinds of things that
adults do that are considered to be abusive to a child.
After 5-8 minutes, ask the groups to
share their answers with the larger group. Create the following headings on a
chalk or white board: Physical,
Emotional, Sexual, Spiritual, Organized, Neglect , Ritual, Trafficking,
Bullying. Explain that child abuse is
often categorized under these headings.
Work with the group to choose the appropriate heading under which to
place their illustrations. If they have
no examples for a given column, offer some ideas yourself from your own reading
or the list below. (See Appendix B for
additional material on definitions.)
:
▪
Physical abuse: hitting, beating, burning, kicking, throwing,
battering, etc.
▪ Emotional abuse: conveying a sense of worthlessness or of
being unloved or inadequate to a child, frightening the child, imposing
age-inappropriate expectations, exploitation, etc.
▪ Sexual abuse: inappropriate touching of the child’s body,
exposing children to sexually explicit, material, photographing them for the
sexual pleasure of an adult, forcing them to have any type of sexual contact,
etc.
▪ Spiritual abuse: spiritual manipulation (using spiritual
threats to gain control over another person), inappropriate imposition of
guilt, misrepresenting God to the child (such as portraying God as always angry
or disappointed with them), etc.
▪ Organized abuse: This kind of abuse may involve more than one
abuser and perhaps a number of children.
Abusers may use an institutional framework or position of authority to
recruit children and groom them for abuse. It can occur in a variety of
settings such as families, communities, residential homes, church groups and
schools.
▪ Neglect: inadequate food, inappropriate clothing,
neglected health and hygiene, lack of supervision and protection, unsafe
environment (such as not providing fire or staircase guards that would prevent
them from hurting themselves) etc.
▪ Ritual abuse: This kind of abuse involves indoctrinating
the victim into cultic beliefs and practices using rituals. The kind of abuse
can range from intimidation and humiliation to torture and death.
▪ Trafficking: transporting children from their home against
their will, usually to other countries, for personal or financial gain.
▪ Bullying:
deliberate harassment using threat, force or insinuation with the intent
of frightening or alienating a person. Bullying can include
•
physical pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching, etc.
•
name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumors, persistent teasing and emotional
torment through ridicule
• humiliation and
the continual ignoring of individuals
• racial taunts,
graffiti, gestures
• sexual comments
and/or suggestions
• unwanted
physical contact
Creating awareness of the reality of child abuse in every
community. Before a group can be moved to action to protect
children, they must be moved out of denial.
▪
The reality of child abuse in the church. The first step in protecting children is to accept that abuse has and
will occur even in churches, because no community is immune. Researchers have found children who have
experienced some form of abuse, though often committed in secret, in every
culture and people group that they have studied. Much harm is done when people
refuse to believe that abuse could happen in their churches or their
culture.
Every
person has within them the potential to abuse. God has given human beings
freedom of choice. Sadly, some people
make bad choices about their behavior and child abuse happens, even amongst
Christians. The Bible teaches that
Christians continue to battle daily against their sinful natures, so it should
come as no great surprise that some converts and members struggle with the sin
of child abuse. In addition, some
perpetrators only pose as Christians, finding children in churches naively
trusting and unprotected, hence easy prey for their evil intentions
▪ The debilitating effects of abuse on children. Child abuse interferes with normal
child development. It has the effect of thwarting
a child’s development to their fullest potential as God intends in all areas of
their lives (cf. Jer. 29: 11;
▪ A violation of God’s law and the laws that govern societal
behavior.
Child abuse
is an immoral and criminal act committed against God, children, their families
and—in most societies—the state. God
speaks against it in his Word. In Matt.
18:6, the word translated “offend” is the Greek word scandalize. Strong’s
Greek Concordance translates this word as “to entrap.” God hates child
abuse because it entraps children. Most
countries have laws and strong societal traditions in place that condemn the
abuse of children.
▪ No valid excuse. Children are abused when abusers
prioritize their own selfish desires over their responsibility as adults to
provide for the full spectrum of children’s needs and to protect them from all
harm. Though perpetrators may offer
their own abuse in childhood, unmet sexual needs, stress, the influence of
drugs and alcohol, and a myriad of other excuses for their behavior, there is
no excuse that justifies the abuse of a child.
Abuse is always a choice on the part of the abuser.
Abuse occurs when an
adult chooses to use a child for their own sexual pleasure. It also occurs whenever an adult chooses to
control or punish a child through the use of physical, emotional, sexual or
spiritual harm. It happens when an adult
denies a child their most basic needs for food, shelter, clothing, love,
guidance and care. Children should be
able to trust adults to protect them from injury and provide for their
well-being. Abuse occurs when adults are
untrustworthy.
Children do not “cause”
abusive behavior. They are innocent
victims who suffer at the hands of adults who hurt them, and the effects of the
abuse can linger for decades. The adult
is always the one at fault in cases of abuse because adults—by virtue of their
strength, maturity, or profession—are in positions of power over children.
▪
Responsibility for child protection. We must make every effort to ensure that our children
find God’s church a safe and protective shelter. Church needs to be a place
where children can be built up in the faith and in the knowledge of Jesus, a
place where they can safely mature and attain the whole measure of the fullness
of Christ (Eph. 4:13). It is a tragic
fact that that many perpetrators are people who appear to be very spiritual and
sincere. Children are particularly at
risk in church communities because they believe they can trust everyone there,
and particularly persons in leadership.
We have taught them to be suspicious of strangers. But we have not been so diligent in teaching
them what to do when church members, family members, friends, teachers and
other people that they know prove untrustworthy.
Case
discussion: A child’s experience
revisited. If possible, give each person a copy
of the following case story and read it out loud again. Divide the participants into small groups of
three or four people and ask them to consider their response to the discussion
questions that follow. Allow ten to
fifteen minutes for discussion and then invite groups to share an insight that
arose from their discussion.
I don’t come to church anymore. My dad was the head elder and highly
respected by the church members. He was a successful businessman and gave
generously to the local church, paying for many of the furnishings. From the
time I was six he sexually abused me about once a week, usually when my mother
was at choir practice. When I was old enough to know that this was wrong, I
told my mother. She believed me and asked the pastor what she should do. The
pastor said that I had been making mischief and told her not to say anything to
anyone because it would give the church a bad name. My mother chose to protect
me rather than stay with my father, and we moved away. The church
disfellowshipped my mother for divorcing my father even though she did it to
protect me. My dad is still an elder in his church.
Small Group Discussion
Questions:
▪
What messages do you think this experience conveyed to this child about her
value, about God who is described in Scripture as “our Father,” and about His
church?
▪
Knowing what you have just learned in this seminar, how well do you think your
church is prepared to help this child’s mother protect her daughter from harm
and to respond to the needs of this child and her family once this situation
has occurred? How could your church do a
better job at child protection?
For
Discussion in the Large Group:
Bring small groups together to debrief on
their thinking. Write their responses on
a board or flip chart.
▪
In what situations might children be unsafe in a church context? Think about
the people, the building, the activities, the relationships.
▪
In what circumstances might children be at risk in your own church building,
program and community?
For Further Small Group Discussion:
Ask participants to get back into their small groups
and assign each group one of the following areas at church where children are
particularly vulnerable. Assess where
the possible risk areas might be. After
10-15 minutes of small group discussion, share ideas again in the large
group. Write them down and appoint a
small committee to formulate the ideas into recommendations for the church
board.
▪
Church building design and layout of the surrounding area and outbuildings.
Are there places where abusers could lurk or take children? How could
you redesign areas to make them safer? (E.g. put windows into all internal
doors; assign adults to monitor bathrooms, courtyards, parking lots, etc.).
▪ Church
programs. How can children be kept safe during the broad range
of activities in which they might be involved in a church setting, such as
1.
▪
Relationships between church members and families. How can child
safety be maintained even in settings where there is a temptation to relax the
usual vigilance, such as during church activities and among church friends?
(E.g. emphasizing the importance of parents knowing their children’s friends,
asking in advance about adult supervision and activities planned when children
are invited to spend time with other families, raising awareness of the
importance of parental supervision given, for example, the fact that teenage
boys sometimes abuse the children of family friends, etc.)
D. Implementing Child
Protection Policies in the
Create awareness of common warning signs of abuse. The possibility that a child has
been the victim abuse in any of the different categories discussed earlier may
be evidenced in various ways. It is
important that leaders who work with children be able to identify the warning
signs of abuse. The list in Appendix C
will enhance awareness of common warning signs identified by professionals who
deal with abused children. (You may wish
to prepare the list in Appendix C as a handout.)
It
is important to remember that the presence of one or more of these signs does
not mean the child has been abused.
However, these indicators should significantly raise an adult’s level of
concern for the safety and well-being of a child.
Empower children to talk to a trusted adult
about abuse. Children often find it
difficult to tell anyone about abuse when it occurs. They may be afraid no one will believe
them. They may be afraid that the abuser
will hurt them or that something bad will happen to their family or to the
abuser. Many abusers bind their victims
to silence by telling them that their relationship is very special and the abusive
behavior is their special secret. Some
children may have tried to tell someone, but they would not listen or take them
seriously. Responding to a child who
discloses that abuse has taken place in the following ways creates the best
likelihood that the children in your church will be able to tell someone about
abuse when it happens:
▪ Educate children about abuse. Talk to children about abuse and the “say
‘no’, run away, tell someone” rule. (For
more ideas on educating children about abuse, see Appendix D.)
▪ Listen acceptingly to what the child or young person wants to
tell you. Remain calm, and if you are in a face-to-face
situation with the child or young person, look at them directly. Show the child that he/she has your undivided
attention and that you are interested in them.
▪ Tell the child that you take their report very seriously and that you
are glad they have spoken to you. Reassure
the child or young person that they were right to tell you and that you will do
your best to help them.
▪ Do not promise complete
confidentiality. Let them know that you will
need to make a report to appropriate authorities. In many places, this is required by law. Make the report in the child’s presence if
possible so they will know exactly what you have said. Remember, however, that the need to make a
report to designated child protection agents is not license to speak about the
alleged abuse to others in the church.
▪
Do not blame the child for the abuse. Reassure the child that the abuse was not
their fault, even if they have broken a rule.
Abuse is always the decision of an adult to use a child for their own
ends. Remember that the child or young person might also have been threatened.
▪
Do not attempt to conduct an
investigation yourself. Never push
the child for more information by asking questions. Allow the child or young person to proceed with
their story at their own speed and to share what they want to share. It is not
your job to determine the facts of the situation. This is the work of child protection
authorities who are trained to do so without further harming the child or
discrediting their story.
▪ Keep a written record. It is important to make notes as soon as possible about the date and time
of your meeting or conversation and exactly what was said. Be sure to include a record of any details
the child provides regarding the date(s), time(s) and places of the events
disclosed to you. Take care to keep your
records safe because you might need them at a later date.
▪ Make the safety of the child your first priority. When child abuse is reported, discovered or
suspected, consideration should always be given as to whether it is safe for a
child to return to a potentially abusive situation. If you believe that the safety of the child
would be put at high risk by returning home, you should alert the local child
protection authorities of your concerns so that measures to protect the child
can be put into effect immediately. It
is worth remembering that hundreds of children around the world are killed
every year by parents and caretakers in their own homes.[2]
▪
Give the child appropriate information. Tell the child or young person what you
are going to do next and what is likely to happen.
(For additional ideas on being a safe and
protective adult, see Appendix E.)
Make a report to appropriate authorities. Concern for the reputation of
accused adult(s) or the church must not deter you from making an immediate
report to community-designated authorities.
This is your moral responsibility, and in many places it is also required
by law. You will need to investigate the
procedure for making a report in your particular community. Many developed and developing countries are
bringing their laws and procedures for protecting children up-to-date with the
growing realization that the abuse of children is a global problem.
Unless
it is the pastor who is accused of abusive behavior, you will want to inform
them that you have made a report to the community agency responsible for child
protection. (Some churches have a
qualified person designated to receive such information and coordinate the
church’s response.) If the pastor is
accused, or if the situation puts at risk the well-being of the church-at-large,
a call should also be placed to the conference/mission to make leadership there
aware of the circumstances. It is the
responsibility of the conference—and not the local church—to provide the
spokesperson to respond to any contacts with the media.
When
abuse is reported or suspected, it is not appropriate for church leaders to
take it upon themselves to conduct an investigation. Expertise is required to get to the facts of
the situation without further hurting the child and perhaps discrediting their
testimony. In addition, child abusers
often have more than one victim. Some of
the victims may be outside of church circles.
The full extent of the problem is more likely to come to light when all
reports are gathered by designated authorities.
Reporting to a central authority creates the best hope all children at
risk will receive the care they need and be protected from further harm. Making a report to appropriate authorities
has also been shown to create the best likelihood an abuser might be helped to
stop their destructive behavior.
Do
not attempt to confront the perpetrator with the allegations. This could create a very dangerous situation
for the family and for church leaders and members. Leave the confrontation to the
authorities. There will be opportunity
later for the pastor to minister to the spiritual needs of the perpetrator and
support the authorities in seeking to help them accept responsibility for their
actions and get the help they need to stop their destructive behavior.
The church is an important part of a larger network in
dealing with the protection of children.
But the church cannot deal with child abuse situations alone. The church is primarily responsible for
making church as safe a place as possible for children and their families and
for putting individuals and families in touch with qualified persons who can
best help them when abuse occurs. In
addition, churches who play their part well will provide practical support to
victims and their families. This
practical support might include providing temporary monetary support for
victims and their children; connecting victims with the wider support network
of medical, legal, counseling and protection professionals who can help them;
and helping them to evaluate the options open to them; Churches can also take an active part in the
development of support networks in the community around them by bringing
together pastors, medical professionals, counselors, community leaders and
others interested in working together to provide safety and support for victims
and their children and to offer ongoing education about this problem.
E. Conclusion:
Moving Into the Future
This
seminar will end on a more satisfying note if there is a sense that the seminar
has set the stage for moving the local church into action. In conclusion:
1. Debrief on the difficulty of talking about
such a subject. Celebrate the fact that
most children are brought up in loving homes and are not abused.
2. Pray for wisdom and discuss what your church
needs to do as a result of experiencing this program.
3. Request that the local church board discuss
the issues raised by the seminar and devise a plan for making your church a
safe place for children. Ask the board
to report their recommendations to the church at the next business session,
including a timetable and the persons responsible for implementation. (You may want to recommend that your church
board consider writing a policy statement on for your local church. See sample in Appendix F.)
4.
Thank the congregation in advance for taking the necessary steps to
implement these actions. When we make
the church a safe place for children, we are growing the
Close with a prayer especially
remembering the children and any in the congregation who have experienced abuse
at close hand themselves or with a friend or family member.
References
Bartlett, W. Keeping the church family safe training
manual.
Johnson, A. (2003)
Family ministries handbook.
Appendix A
Child Protection Guidelines for Church Leaders and Volunteers
The following guidelines are provided to teach practical
ways of protecting children and youth while reducing the risks of being accused
of abuse. They represent an ideal to be aimed for by children’s activity
leaders.
DO
Meet in a public place when meeting
with minors.
Always have another adult present or within view when
counseling minors.
Advise other staff members of activities away from the
group. Include information on where, when and with whom you met.
Always have two adults take younger children to the
bathroom.
Always have two adults present when changing children’s
clothing.
Keep physical contact public and minimal. Simple ‘hello’
hugs are permissible, for example.
Always have a minimum of two adults on field trips,
especially on overnight trips.
Keep groups of children together, perhaps using a buddy
system.
Be gender sensitive. Have both male and female staff for a
mixed group of children.
Be willing to be cheerfully accountable to parents and staff
members.
DON’T
Meet one-to-one with minors behind closed doors.
Have secret meetings with minors.
Meet alone with minors, especially of the opposite sex.
Check a minor for injuries under their clothing without
another adult present, except in serious
emergencies.
Exchange kisses with children or youth.
Allow older children to take younger children to the
bathroom.
Transport a child or youth by yourself, except in real
emergencies.
Adapted from Audray, A. (2003). Family ministries handbook.
Appendix B
Definitions
Child abuse is
any act of omission or commission that endangers or impairs a child’s physical,
emotional or spiritual health and development. It is the act rather that the
degree of injury that determines intervention by medical or other
professionals, including appropriately trained clergy. When a child tells about
being abused, the listener must not conduct an investigation, but report what
has been said to the legally designated authorities.
Physical Abuse is
any act that results in non-accidental physical injury. Inflicted physical
injury most often represents unreasonable or severe corporal punishments,
unjustifiable punishment or intentional assault. It may produce:
Damage to the brain, skeleton and
other internal organs.
Damage to the skin and surface
tissues.
Physical Neglect
is the negligent treatment or maltreatment of a child by a parent or caretaker
who willfully causes or permits the child to be placed in a situation where his
or her person or health is endangered. I may result in:
Severe malnutrition or medically diagnosed non-organic failure to
thrive.
Inadequate food, clothing, hygiene, shelter, medical or dental care.
It may also take the form of leaving young children without supervision.
Sexual Abuse is
exposure to sexual activity inappropriate for the child’s age level,
psychological development, or role in the family. It encompasses a broad
spectrum of acts of sexual assault and sexual exploitation of minors that may
occur over a long period of time. The child’s guilt, shame and fear and the
possibility of involvement of the parents or caretakers make it extremely
difficult for children to reveal the situation to anyone. Sexual abuse may
include:
Touching the child’s genitals and/or breasts or telling the child to masturbate.
Showing the child pornography and/or promoting prostitution by minors.
Putting objects inside a child’s vagina,
anus or mouth.
Having oral, anal or vaginal intercourse with a child.
Photographing a child nude in sexual
positions or situations.
Voyeurism – secretly watching a naked child for sexual pleasure.
Extreme favoritism shown towards the abused child.
Emotional abuse
can scare and incapacitate a child emotionally, behaviorally and/or
intellectually. Severe psychological disorder can been trace to distorted
parental attitudes and actions. Emotional abuse may also include religious or
spiritual abuse. Emotional abuse may include:
Verbal assaults, belittling,
screaming, threats, blame and sarcasm.
Continual negative moods and double
message communication.
Constant
family discord and unpredictable responses.
Religious abuse may include the use of religious teachings or traditions
to intimidate or coerce. It may employ a fear of God to enforce behavior.
Ritual Abuse
consists of physical, sexual and emotional abuse along with the use of rituals.
Ritual abuse usually involves repeated abuse over an extended period of
time. It is often used to indoctrinate
the victim into cult beliefs and practices. Most victims are in a state of
terror, mind control and dissociation which makes disclosure of what has happened
to them exceedingly difficult. Ritual abuse may include:
Physical abuse that is severe,
including torture and death.
Ritual sexual abuse, usually painful,
sadistic and humiliating.
The psychological factors of ritual abuse involve ritual indoctrination
and intimidation.
Adapted from Johnson,
A. (2003). Family ministries handbook.
Appendix C
Child Abuse Indicators
The following is
a list of the common effects of abuse on a child. This list is not all-inclusive, and it should not be assumed that a
child showing one or more of these behaviors has been abused. We provide this information because many
people overlook conditions and behaviors that should make friends and family
concerned for what may be happening to the child in private. Behaviors marked with an asterisk (*)
indicate behaviors that may indicate more than one category of abuse.
Physical abuse
Depressed, withdrawn, apathetic*
Suicide attempts
and self harming*
Wary of physical
contact with adult(s)*
Sleep, speech and
eating disorders*
Substance abuse*
Exaggerated or
extreme fearfulness*
Frightened of
caretakers and/or going home*
Sexual abuse
Poor peer relationships*
Poor self-image*
Age inappropriate
sexual understanding
Bleeding of
external genitalia or anal area
Torn or stained
clothing, especially underwear
Difficulty in
walking or sitting
Emotional Abuse
Clinging or indiscriminate attachment*
Antisocial,
destructive behavior*
Habit disorders –
biting, rocking*
Picking scabs
Whining*
Bedwetting
Neglect
Chronic fatigue*
Repeated
ingestion of harmful substances
Begging or
stealing food
Lack of body care
and cleanliness
Markedly
underweight
Ritual abuse
Fear of certain colors
Fearful of
toileting or bathing
Nightmares –
sleepwalking
Emotional
numbness
Reports multiple
perpetrators
Fragments of
bizarre stories
Believes demons
watch or live inside body
Appendix D
Helping Children to Protect Themselves
·
Teach
children they are special and that no one has a right to harm them.
·
Teach
children to trust and act upon any feeling of fear or unease – not to ignore
their feelings.
·
Teach
children to:
• Say no, over and
over again, and to shout ‘NO!’ too.
• Run and find a safe person
if they feel unsafe with someone.
• Ask the person to stop
over and over again.
• Tell someone over and over again until they
feel safe.
·
Let
children know of someone with whom they can talk if they have specific fears or
problems. Perhaps your church could have a caring and safe elder or
·
Wherever
possible, make sure that every child has access to a phone number of a
telephone helpline. Many places have
such helplines especially to support and help children. Place clear posters
advertising this number in children’s rooms at church, as well as in the
restrooms/toilets.
·
Teach
children how to pray for God’s presence and help in every situation.
·
Teach
children to choose 3 adults that they feel they can turn to for help.
Appendix E
Being a Safe and Protective Adult
·
Always
treat children with respect and concern for their welfare. Honor them above
yourselves (Romans 12:10).
·
Always
look out for anything that might harm or discourage children.
·
Always
speak lovingly to children and encourage them.
·
Make
a conscious choice to live your life in such a way that every child will feel
safe with you and know they can trust you.
·
Keep
learning how you can keep children safe. Times change and children are exposed
to different dangers as technology develops. For example, cell phones (mobiles)
and the internet have opened up new dangers for children. Find out how to keep
children safe in different contexts. You can often find safety information on
the internet. Make this available to children, their caretakers, parents,
teachers and other church members.
·
Encourage
other adults to love and protect the children.
·
Ask
God to use you to keep your church family safe, and pray for the safekeeping of
the children in your church by name.
Appendix F
Policy Statement for the
The
Code of Practice
·
The
Church affirms the dignity and worth of each human being - it will not condone
any form of abuse.
·
The
Church has a responsibility to protect all children involved in any of its
programs.
·
The
Church will insure that all leaders and those working with children receive
appropriate child protection training.
·
All
allegations of abuse disclosed by a child will be reported to the appropriate
government agencies with whom the Church will co-operate.
·
The
Church will help individuals and families obtain the professional help they
need.
·
A
ministry of reconciliation will be available for families who desires such help
and changed attitudes and the stopping of all abusive behavior make it safe to
consider reconciliation.
The church’s
responsibility and duty of care for all children
·
Have child protection policies and procedures in place to which all church
workers must adhere.
·
Train everyone working with children on the protection and care of
children and the prevention of situations where abuse could occur.
·
Ensure all your church’s activities are run in ways that protect
children and staff.
·
Recognize and respond to any concerns of harm or abuse that are brought
to the attention of the children’s workers.
·
Offer pro-active abuse prevention education to children and family, such
as marriage strengthening and parenting programs.1
·
Be prepared to support the child and their family should abuse be
reported.
·
Make reports of reported, discovered or suspected child abuse with
community-designated statutory agencies such as the Social Services Department
and the Police. Remember, protecting
children in this manner does not bring the church into disrepute. Rather, it establishes the church as a
transparent and caring community that takes child protection seriously.
·
Regularly reassess church activities and the church building and
surroundings to ensure that the church remains a safe place.
Appendix G
Helpful Websites
General
information on child abuse prevention and an appropriate church response from
the General Conference Department of Family Ministries:
http://www.adventistfamilyministries.org world headquarters/special features/ministry
resources on abuse and family violence
General
Conference of Seventh-day Adventists statement of affirmation of the importance
of child protection training:
http://www.adventist.org/beliefs/statements/respect-for-all-people.html
Southern Pacific information on child protection:
http://adventist.org.au/life/family/family_issues/domestic_violence/child
abuse
Best practice
model from Adventist Risk Management:
http://www.adventistrisk.org/pdfs/childprotectionsample.pdf
Southern California Conference child protection
resources:
http://www.advocateweb.org/cease/prevention.htm
British Union
Conference Child Protection Policy, Keeping
our Church Family Safe:
http://www.secadventist.org/depts/dept_childprotection.php
Appendix H
Relevant Position Statements
Issued by the
General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
Child Sexual Abuse
Child sexual abuse occurs when a person older or
stronger than the child uses his or her power, authority, or position of trust
to involve a child in sexual behavior or activity. Incest, a specific form of child sexual
abuse, is defined as any sexual activity between a child and a parent, a
sibling, an extended family member, or a step/surrogate parent.
Sexual abusers may be men or women and may be of any
age, nationality, or socio-economic background.
They are often men who are married with children, have respectable jobs,
and may be regular churchgoers. It is
common for offenders to strongly deny their abusive behavior, to refuse to see
their actions as a problem, and to rationalize their behavior or place blame on
something or someone else. While it is
true that many abusers exhibit deeply rooted insecurities and low self-esteem,
these problems should never be accepted as an excuse for sexually abusing a
child. Most authorities agree that the
real issue in child sexual abuse is more related to a desire for power and
control than for sex.
When God created the human family, He began with a
marriage between a man and a woman based on mutual love and trust. This relationship is still designed to
provide the foundation for a stable, happy family in which the dignity, worth,
and integrity of each family member is protected and upheld. Every child, whether male or female, is to be
affirmed as a gift from God. Parents are
given the privilege and responsibility of providing nurture, protection, and
physical care for the children entrusted to them by God. Children should be able to honor, respect,
and trust their parents and other family members without the risk of abuse.
The Bible condemns child sexual abuse in the
strongest possible terms. It sees any
attempt to confuse, blur, or denigrate personal, generational, or gender
boundaries through sexually abusive behavior as an act of betrayal and a gross
violation of personhood. It openly
condemns abuses of power, authority, and responsibility because these strike at
the very heart of the victims’ deepest feelings about themselves, others, and God,
and shatter their capacity to love and trust.
Jesus used strong language to condemn the actions of anyone who, through
word or deed, causes a child to stumble.
The Adventist Christian community is not immune from
child sexual abuse. We believe that the
tenets of the Seventh-day Adventist faith require us to be actively involved in
its prevention. We are also committed to
spiritually assisting abused and abusive individuals and their families in
their healing and recovery process, and to holding church professionals and
church lay leaders accountable for maintaining their personal behavior as is
appropriate for persons in positions of spiritual leadership and trust.
As a Church we believe our faith calls us to:
1. Uphold the principles of Christ for
family relationships in which the self-respect, dignity, and purity of children
are recognized as divinely mandated rights.
2. Provide an atmosphere where children
who have been abused can feel safe when reporting sexual abuse and can feel
that someone will listen to them.
3. Become thoroughly informed about sexual
abuse and its impact upon our own church community.
4. Help ministers and lay leaders to
recognize the warning signs of child sexual abuse and know how to respond
appropriately when abuse is suspected or a child reports being sexually abused.
5. Establish referral relationships with
professional counselors and local sexual assault agencies who can, with their
professional skills, assist abuse victims and their families.
6. Create guidelines/policies at the
appropriate levels to assist church leaders in:
a. Endeavoring
to treat with fairness persons accused of sexually abusing children,
b. Holding
abusers accountable for their actions and administering appropriate discipline.
7. Support the education and enrichment of
families and family members by:
a. Dispelling
commonly held religious and cultural beliefs which may be used to justify or
cover up child sexual abuse.
b. Building a
healthy sense of personal worth in each child which enables him or her to
respect self and others.
c. Fostering
Christlike relationships between males and females in the home and in the
church.
8. Provide caring support and a
faith-based redemptive ministry within the church community for abuse survivors
and abusers while enabling them to access the available network of professional
resources in the community.
9. Encourage the training of more family
professionals to facilitate the healing and recovery process of abuse victims
and perpetrators.
(The above statement
is informed by principles expressed in the following scriptural passages:
Adopted at the Spring Meeting of the General
Conference Executive Committee, April
1997. Brochure prepared by Department of
Family Ministries, General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists, 12501 Old
Columbia Pike,
Abuse and Family Violence
Seventh-day
Adventists affirm the dignity and worth of each human being and decry all forms
of physical, sexual and emotional abuse and family violence.
We
recognize the global extent of this problem and the serious, long-term effects
upon the lives of all involved. We believe that Christians must respond to
abuse and family violence both within the church and in the community. We take
seriously reports of abuse and violence and have highlighted these issues for
discussion at this international assembly. We believe that to remain indifferent
and unresponsive is to condone, perpetuate, and potentially extend such
behavior.
We
accept our responsibility to cooperate with other professional services, to
listen and care for those suffering from abuse and family violence, to
highlight the injustices, and to speak out in defense of victims. We will help
persons in need to identify and access the range of available professional
services.
When changed attitudes and behavior
open possibilities for forgiveness and new beginnings, we will provide a ministry
of reconciliation. We will assist families in grief over relationships that
cannot be restored. We will address the spiritual questions confronting abused
persons, seeking to understand the origins of abuse and family violence and
developing better ways of preventing the recurring cycle.
This statement
was approved and voted by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
Administrative Committee (ADCOM) and was released by the
Respect for All
People—Making Churches and Community Safe
The
To
this end, Seventh-day Adventists, as Christians, seek to live by the highest
moral and ethical principles of conduct in their relationships with fellow
human beings. We stand with other religious and community leaders who decry all
forms of sexual abuse and family violence as well as all trafficking and
exploitation of women and children, regardless of gender, age, ethnicity,
social, economic, and health status. We believe that to remain indifferent and
unresponsive is, in effect, to condone, perpetuate, and potentially extend such
behavior.
Long-standing
Adventist position statements denouncing the sexual abuse of children and
family violence and offering practical guidelines for an appropriate and caring
church response have endeavored to provide a model for other communities of
faith seeking to break silence and to respond appropriately and compassionately
to persons who know this devastating experience firsthand.
Many resources have been
developed by Adventist professionals and shared through governmental and
interfaith networks to educate pastors, teachers, and leaders in both church
and community regarding the nature of the problem and how to help individuals
and families access the network of social and professional services which can
best respond to specific needs. An annual Sabbath in Seventh-day Adventist
churches is dedicated to continuing to break silence on these issues and to
increasing the Church’s effectiveness in the protection of the vulnerable with a
view toward prevention.
Seventh-day
Adventists take very seriously their responsibility to help make the Church and
community a safe place for children. A strong position statement on the
well-being and value of children was issued in 2000 enumerating the rights of
children and the many challenges facing families and communities charged with
their care. Strong child-protection policies have been put in place in
Seventh-day Adventist churches and schools in different parts of the world.
These policies can provide a model for the development of such guidelines in
other places regarding the screening of volunteers and appropriate measures to
ensure that perpetrators are reported and removed from positions that put
children at further risk. However, the policies are valuable only as they are
implemented. Seventh-day Adventists have been practically involved, among
others, in establishing orphanages. We have also been involved in community
activities combating abuse.
Beyond
speaking out against violations of human dignity, Seventh-day Adventists are
committed to the development of each person to their fullest potential. The
Church operates a global educational system. The Adventist Development and
Relief Agency (ADRA) provides a diversity of family and community development
services including micro-lending, food and water security, literacy, HIV/AIDS
education and emergency response. Leadership training programs are offered
through Adventist churches worldwide in many areas of ministry and community
service, such as family life education, health education, women and children’s
ministries, etc. Seventh-day Adventists view such work as an extension of the
ministry of Christ and consider it our privilege to join hands with others in
support of all human beings with whom we share this global village.
This statement was voted by the General Conference of Seventh-day Adventists
Administrative Committee (ADCOM), for release at the time of the General
Conference Session in St. Louis, Missouri, USA, July 5, 2005.